Receiving Feedback

Asking for feedback and then receiving it!
Feedback is a way of finding out how effective you are at trying to accomplish any particular aspect of ridden work OR any other aspect of horse ownership AND testing your knowledge base. There are two sides to feedback: giving it, and receiving it. On the forum, we encourage members to post about their riding and to invite feedback. It is essential that you are clear exactly what it is you require feedback on, other members will respect this and contain their comments to what you specify.

Do you want Feedback?
Asking for and accepting feedback can enhance your learning experience. Some people experience feedback as pure criticism and don't want to hear it, others only want to hear praise and nothing that might suggest imperfection.

Do you believe feedback will harm you or benefit you?
You are ready to receive feedback when you:
1. Want to know yourself as others see.
2. You trust the forum members to care enough about your development to risk giving their opinion.
3. Have a place outside the forum you can talk through comments received.
4. Have opportunities for additional feedback so you test the results of the changes you have made.

Feedback is a two-way conversation. The person receiving the feedback needs an opportunity to reflect and respond to what is being shared.

You do not always have to accept feedback or the manner in which it is given. We all have the right to refuse feedback, and we can expect feedback to be given in a respectful and supportive manner. If you are unhappy with any feedback you have received but do not feel able to deal directly with the person concerned PLEASE speak to Admin or a Moderator.

Some suggestions on how to receive feedback include:
1. When receiving any feedback, read but do not comment immediately. Ask questions if you need
clarification on any issues. Don't accept, don't deny and don't rationalize.
2. Recognize the courage it took to give you the feedback.
Thank the giver for feedback - It is not always easy to feel any appreciation when you hear
negative messages about your riding, but someone has put effort in on your behalf so it is
important to have some words of recognition for this.
3. Allow yourself time.
Give yourself a couple of days to think about the information, look for the basic message
and decide your course of action.
4. Know that feedback can be tough to receive even when we ask for it.
Although it is simply another's perception, it can shake up your feelings about yourself.
5. Discuss the feedback with others whose opinions you respect, but let them react badly to
any negative feedback you had.
It is be normal to want to invalidate negative feedback, and to get others to help you,
but you may lose what may be a grain of truth if you do.
6. Use feedback in a positive way as soon as practical
Over time you may even want to tell others to lightly remind you if you slip back to old ways.
"Jack, I don't want to bug you, but you asked me to remind you if you started to collapse your
right side in canter ."

For every positive and open way of accepting feedback, there's an opposite; a negative and closed manner which pushes feedback away and keeps it at bay.

Receiving feedback in a positve and open way
You are using feedback effectively when you are:-
Being Open listen without frequent interruption or objections.
Being Responsive willing to hear what's being said without turning the table.
Accepting Comments accepts the feedback, without denial.
Being Respectful recognize the value of what is being said and the speaker's right to say it.
Engaged in the feedback interact appropriately with the member, asking for clarification when needed.
An Active Listener listens carefully and tries to understand the meaning of the feedback.
Thoughtful try to understand the personal behavior that has led to the feedback.
Interested be genuinely interested in getting feedback.
Sincere genuinely want to make personal changes if appropriate.

Receiving feedback in a negative and closed way
You are using feedback ineffectively when you are:-
Defensive defending personal actions, frequently objecting to feedback given.
Attacking the feedback giver, and turning the table.
In Denial refuting the accuracy or fairness of the feedback.
Disrespectful devaluing the speaker, what the speaker is saying, or the speaker's right
to give feedback.
Closed ignoring the feedback, listening blankly without interest.
Inactive making no attempt to "hear" or understand the meaning of the feedback.
Rationalizing finding explanations for the feedback that dissolve any personal responsibility.
Patronizing listening, but showing little interest.
Superficial agrees, but gives the impression that the feedback will have little actual effect.

The forum wants to promote the open giving AND receiving of feedback. Just as we will not tolerate poor quality feedback being generated, we will also not tolerate members becoming rude or agressive because they have received negative feedback.

If feedback is not of the required quality, please report it to Moderators or Admin and they will deal with the situation - DO NOT engage in inappropriate responses because you are angry or upset.

Club Caballo